10 Things You Can Do To Help You Through The Grieving Process
When we lose a loved one the pain can be overwhelming. Buzzfeed published an article featuring 27 things people do to cope with grief. We chose the best 10.
1- Set aside 15 minutes in a quiet place.
Think about the person who died, who died, or let yourself cry or just give yourself permission to give yourself over to the grief. This does not mean that all of your grieving takes place during that short time every day; however, it does help to create a time and sacred place to be alone with your grief." —maudebasset
2- Write letters to your loved one.
"I lost my brother to suicide in 2013. The hardest thing is just letting myself grieve. I don't like being that vulnerable, but I've found some ways to help me cope with it. One of the most helpful things has been writing him letters. I keep him updated on everything that I can, like how his daughter is growing up and how I'm doing in college. It's silly and one-sided, but I like to think that he actually sees them. When I'm sad, I find myself doing a lot of his favorite things. I listen to all of his music and watch all of his favorite movies. And, thanks to him, now I make a damn good Captain and Coke!" —Jessica Turner, Facebook
3- Binge-watch a lot of TV.
"Binge-watched on Netflix when I lost my mom in 2013. It was nice losing myself in other people's stories and getting away from my grief for a while." —Ashley Robinson, Facebook
4- Look through old pictures, emails, letters, and anything else you shared.
"My sister died in 2002. Over the years I have done different things to help with the loss. I have gone to the cemetery and talked to her, looked at emails and letters from her, looked at pictures with her in them, ate food that she loved, and tried to remember every memory I had with her in it. Just because it has been over 10 years since she has died does not mean that the pain is gone. Time does not weaken the pain from the loss. I have just learned how to adjust my life without her, which is really hard." —Victoria Weireter, Facebook
5- Don't judge yourself for grieving.
"The first year is full of milestones and triggers; it's the longest and the shortest year of your life. You'll see the big triggers coming (a week, a month, six months, holidays, birthdays), but there will be little ones that you won't consciously think of. My first one was Election Day. I spent the whole day a wreck, but couldn't figure out why until I was walking into the polls and had a panic attack. I had gone with my mother to view and ID my grandfather before going to vote in the primaries. Your subconscious is remembers far more dates than you ever want it to.
Don't judge yourself for not getting over it fast enough. You have to grieve in your own time. There's generally no right or wrong way to grieve. My husband likes to talk about good memories and good times. I prefer to be alone and to have quiet." —Samantha Lea, Facebook
6- Take care of others as a way of taking care of yourself.
"I've buried my entire family except for one of my brothers. Every loss hurts differently. For me, taking care of other people helps when I don't know what to do with myself. When I feel full of emotions, but need to do something constructive, I try to comfort others. I bake...a lot. I think of details that need to be attended to and do them. I help myself when I help others." —Apollina Vita, Facebook
7- Accept the way you feel, no matter how you feel.
"The thing that helps me the most is just accepting the way I feel about the things I've been through. I finally stopped listening to everything that told me I had to be strong and bear it and hide the way I felt. At first, I would find time to be alone, sometimes just a few minutes, and I would let myself feel the way I wanted to. If I was sad, I would cry as hysterically as I needed to. If I was angry, I would yell. It helped." —Rachel Maynard, Facebook
8- Take comfort in mourning with others.
"My tribe has a tradition of cutting our hair after losing someone close, as well as a year of mourning (no social events or religious services), and I feel like the process of it really helps. It gives you time to grieve and then it's behind you." —hatesusernames
9- Remember to take things one day at a time.
"I lost my brother to cancer a little over a month ago. I have no idea how to deal with it. I find it easier to not think about it in such a negative way. When I think about him, I try to think about happy times we had together or funny stories. That's what gets me through the day. Some days I go through without feeling sad at all. Other days, it hits me like a brick and all I can do is cry. But it's a day-by-day process. There's no other way that I can do it." —missyc4c0c8fdcc
10- Make a playlist of the songs that remind you of them.
"I made a playlist of all the songs that reminded me of my friend or were about losing someone and when I was having a hard time I would listen to it. I would cry and feel better after being able to cry." —gabriellep41cee509e
To read the full article go here.
Everyone grieves differently. Have you ever you lost a loved one? what helped you get through the grief? Share with our readers below!